Wednesday, April 23, 2008 / 8:34 PM
weather: grey skies, but dont look like its gonna rain
24th April 2008
music: robin hood symphonic suite- maria, band song
in school.. going for chinese in a matter of minutes.
main is angry. main is angry with a lot of ppl in fact. But somehow, I just feel that i shouldnt be angry with anyone at all. cos its like practically useless, what's the use of being angry? when 1) you're wasting energy, brain juice saliva talking about them, 2) the other person will end up being angry with you, the matter will blow and somehow, you will have to apologise to the other party instead(happened alot of times already, i know.) I dont feel that i should blog about how angry i am at the people i am angry with. Like whats the use, later like ppl wiill come ask you stuff and this that this that. main's tired, jerm's frustrated. i dont really know how much longer of all this nonsense i can take. I feel like crying, i feel like breaking down. i just feel like going to the beach, to like close my eyes and let the wind play me a melody, it would be great if your troubles just *poof* and be gone yeah. somehow, i just dont understand why ppl in this world can be so self centred, and domineering and accusing. i dont understand it at all. like wth. like, really. so far, all the ppl that im angry with, they do not know. and i dont plan to let them know anything, as i said, whats the use? in the end, stuff will just BOMB big and then turmoil and stuff.
After ye's funeral, things have just like pai shan dao hai der spring at me. I dont know how much longer i can hold, i really don't. Everything in my world seems to be wanting to collapse. okay fine, maybe some has already collapsed. I really don't know who to trust anymore, and i dont know who to talk about stuff anymore. Im lost. terribly lost. I dont know anything. main's brain is drained, jerm's brain is tired. and together, jermain is tired, drained and frustrated.
and i kindda bet that if any jc person is like reading this post right now, he/she would probably flare up at me and go, "walan, you think our life so relaxing meh? come on laa. you say until everyone don't face these troubles also". but you know what? I cant really be bothered much about anything anymore. off to chinese i guess.
-jErM
24th April 2008
music: robin hood symphonic suite- maria, band song
in school.. going for chinese in a matter of minutes.
main is angry. main is angry with a lot of ppl in fact. But somehow, I just feel that i shouldnt be angry with anyone at all. cos its like practically useless, what's the use of being angry? when 1) you're wasting energy, brain juice saliva talking about them, 2) the other person will end up being angry with you, the matter will blow and somehow, you will have to apologise to the other party instead(happened alot of times already, i know.) I dont feel that i should blog about how angry i am at the people i am angry with. Like whats the use, later like ppl wiill come ask you stuff and this that this that. main's tired, jerm's frustrated. i dont really know how much longer of all this nonsense i can take. I feel like crying, i feel like breaking down. i just feel like going to the beach, to like close my eyes and let the wind play me a melody, it would be great if your troubles just *poof* and be gone yeah. somehow, i just dont understand why ppl in this world can be so self centred, and domineering and accusing. i dont understand it at all. like wth. like, really. so far, all the ppl that im angry with, they do not know. and i dont plan to let them know anything, as i said, whats the use? in the end, stuff will just BOMB big and then turmoil and stuff.
After ye's funeral, things have just like pai shan dao hai der spring at me. I dont know how much longer i can hold, i really don't. Everything in my world seems to be wanting to collapse. okay fine, maybe some has already collapsed. I really don't know who to trust anymore, and i dont know who to talk about stuff anymore. Im lost. terribly lost. I dont know anything. main's brain is drained, jerm's brain is tired. and together, jermain is tired, drained and frustrated.
and i kindda bet that if any jc person is like reading this post right now, he/she would probably flare up at me and go, "walan, you think our life so relaxing meh? come on laa. you say until everyone don't face these troubles also". but you know what? I cant really be bothered much about anything anymore. off to chinese i guess.
-jErM
Friday, April 18, 2008 / 9:29 AM
Weather: clear(day)
19th April 2008
music: Intime- claude bolling suite
oh mann. today was supposed to head down to the esplanade to gok my scores but i guess that kindda backfired. Anyway, today is haisings speech day. me and si hui left early, so we skipped GP and chinese. the HOD arhh when we tried getting her to sign the form for early leaving of school arhh, is ... no comments mann. anyway, yeah.enjoyed lunch, changed to tj uni, went back haising. haah. oh yeahh. today is a happy day. =D.
-I at first took 31A until some tanah merah stop, 31 will bring me to bedok swimming pool, thought i would be late to reach there but another 31 arrived =D
-CHEM PRAC. woots~ haha. today's prac was finally something that im satisfied about, at least this time, my results are close to everyone else and that my solution turned pink like how it is supposed to. oh yeah, and did i mention, the pink shade of the chemical is like DUPER NICEE. omg. ( i am neutral towards pink, but that pink is uberrr nice!)
-wearing JC uniform in your secondary school is like so DUA PAI. hahahahah. like all those prefect juniors of mine serving me and giving me stuff. omg. I feel so freagin evil. haha. nvm.
-got to talk to miss ong, mrs tang and all my subject tutors
-met up with my 4E1. oh goshh. i miss them mann. haha after speech day, we kindda had dinner together. after that, some of them wanted to go to pasir ris park/beach to stone. I wanted to, but i guess i had to rush back for stage band. as in, i cant be so irresponsible can I?
though I kindda missed band, but, yeah. at least today I enjoyed myself. At least, I hadnt enjoyed myself for quite some time already. At least seeing all my 4e1 class mates (except S_ _ _ _ _ _E) oh gosh, haha. miss them loads. oh goshh. and wei neng showed me one sick way of shaking the standard solution, or was it Dom? oh welll. haha. met shui man, pei shi and everyone else.
oh gosh. stage band was.... mmm. i dunno how to describe. lots of mixed feelings. but i shant post.. negative positive? i dont know. somehow feeling angry though. but yeah. I'd just keep it to myself.
anyway, here are the pictures for todayy. 1 picture =1000 words. I have more pictures, but i only post up the pictures with my face there. =.=. hahaha.
4E1!!
Me and Neng! haha. the duo(copied from neng), oh yeah. we form land and sea. haha.
the 5 4e1 guys who went for the thing=)
haha. US 4 ALWAYS stay together in haising. and i guess, they 3 left me the indelible memories in haising. kairu, neng, don, you guys are the BEST mann!
QIYUNNN! YEYE! omgg. haha. my flute section mate. oh goshh. i miss hsc gen 2 mann. oh well
DON! haha. again, we form land and sea. haha. nice shot by neng though!
2e4! mitch, kev, me and kinchung! hahahaha.
19th April 2008
music: Intime- claude bolling suite
oh mann. today was supposed to head down to the esplanade to gok my scores but i guess that kindda backfired. Anyway, today is haisings speech day. me and si hui left early, so we skipped GP and chinese. the HOD arhh when we tried getting her to sign the form for early leaving of school arhh, is ... no comments mann. anyway, yeah.enjoyed lunch, changed to tj uni, went back haising. haah. oh yeahh. today is a happy day. =D.
-I at first took 31A until some tanah merah stop, 31 will bring me to bedok swimming pool, thought i would be late to reach there but another 31 arrived =D
-CHEM PRAC. woots~ haha. today's prac was finally something that im satisfied about, at least this time, my results are close to everyone else and that my solution turned pink like how it is supposed to. oh yeah, and did i mention, the pink shade of the chemical is like DUPER NICEE. omg. ( i am neutral towards pink, but that pink is uberrr nice!)
-wearing JC uniform in your secondary school is like so DUA PAI. hahahahah. like all those prefect juniors of mine serving me and giving me stuff. omg. I feel so freagin evil. haha. nvm.
-got to talk to miss ong, mrs tang and all my subject tutors
-met up with my 4E1. oh goshh. i miss them mann. haha after speech day, we kindda had dinner together. after that, some of them wanted to go to pasir ris park/beach to stone. I wanted to, but i guess i had to rush back for stage band. as in, i cant be so irresponsible can I?
though I kindda missed band, but, yeah. at least today I enjoyed myself. At least, I hadnt enjoyed myself for quite some time already. At least seeing all my 4e1 class mates (except S_ _ _ _ _ _E) oh gosh, haha. miss them loads. oh goshh. and wei neng showed me one sick way of shaking the standard solution, or was it Dom? oh welll. haha. met shui man, pei shi and everyone else.
oh gosh. stage band was.... mmm. i dunno how to describe. lots of mixed feelings. but i shant post.. negative positive? i dont know. somehow feeling angry though. but yeah. I'd just keep it to myself.
anyway, here are the pictures for todayy. 1 picture =1000 words. I have more pictures, but i only post up the pictures with my face there. =.=. hahaha.
4E1!!
Me and Neng! haha. the duo(copied from neng), oh yeah. we form land and sea. haha.
the 5 4e1 guys who went for the thing=)
haha. US 4 ALWAYS stay together in haising. and i guess, they 3 left me the indelible memories in haising. kairu, neng, don, you guys are the BEST mann!
QIYUNNN! YEYE! omgg. haha. my flute section mate. oh goshh. i miss hsc gen 2 mann. oh well
DON! haha. again, we form land and sea. haha. nice shot by neng though!
2e4! mitch, kev, me and kinchung! hahahaha.
and the last 2 shots, our class with mrs tang. THE BEST TEACHER IN THE WHOLEEE WIDE WORLDDD~ haha.
oh well. nites ppl. im off.
-jErM
yes.morrow, i can get to see you!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008 / 7:21 AM
weather: cloudy(day)
15th April 2008
music: amoreuse- claude bolling suite.
suddenly had the random urge to blog.
mmm. was walking home today quite tired, and when im tired, rubbish thoughts filled up my mind. and kindda was like thinking that, you know somehow when you're angry with a person and you ever get the chance to shoot your anger at him/her, you will not only scold the person about the issue that you ain't really happy about, but you will drag all other matters in and blast all your anger at the person at full blast. right? Somehow if you're the scolder, you won't really feel it. you just will just somehow unknowingly drag all the matters in to intensify the anger. But if you're the victim, hoho, somehow you will just realise it. When you get scolded from your parents example, they will drag every single matter that you've done wrong. its like compiling and blast everything they can if they're angry at you, or when one of your siblings done any wrong, somehow, the blame will be pushed to you also.
and somehow when you're sad, you just hope that there will always be people by your side. there is not really a need to talk. but just there with you. its like how to say, and when you're sad, you will love to listen to emo songs. like for me, i like jay chou's pu gong ying der yue ding, or Simple plan's welcome to my life, or simple plan's shut up or something like that to intensify the fact that you're feeling emotional, or the best, go beach and enjoy the sea breeze and stone, or maybe head to the play ground to stone during night. Like let the calm mood of the night, the moon's dim beams shine on your face. and somehow, I've always wanted to try being at the beach during night, or going to the play ground to like sortta stone during night. (but the play ground one is a bit dangerous arhh.) that is when i'm emo. I've always wanted to do that.. and somehow, if im ever emo that day, somehow, stoning on the bus is a good thing also. cos, the beach is too far, and somehow, the playground down my block is kindda dangerous.
When you're happy, you will wanna scream out to the whole wide world how happy you are. and you again will hope that people will be there for you to congratulate you and reassure your confidence and pride. and to be honest, when you're happy and no one is there to hear you scream. somehow, it just feels really weird, like no one to share your joy with, like the feat that you've just achieved is somehow useless. but no matter what, you will also do something to intensify the feeling of being happy. like when you're happy, you will skip around, sing songs, eat!!, or how about playing the flute like in a duper bright way, or like swim like duper energetic!
my point is, no matter how you're feeling, why do we somehow always intensify the feeling? i dont get it. If the feeling of happy is to be intensified, i dont mind. being happy is good. it lets away stress. but for sad and angry, i just dont get it. like somehow, as i said, i dont really like my math/pw teacher. and to be honest, today's allowing-myself-to-let-rubbish-thoughts-flow made me realise that i've actually been doing stuff to reassure myself how much i hate him and everything. Like saying stuff like, I've tried, I've tried, I'v really tried. but sighs, really, no matter how i try to like him, it always flops. its so freagin irritating. sighs. okay. i went outta point. Somehow, I just have been feeling quite tired/sianned/emo lately, somehow i wana be happy. If not worrying over work/tutorials, It would be worrying over band matters, or worrying over how nai nai is and everything. Somehow, worrying doesnt help and its the action that really counts. but somehow, sighs. I dunno. I just really hope the feeling of emoness doesnt get the better of me. i really hate being sianned.
as stacey said, she asked wei cong(ex maha bodhian) how was I in maha bodhi, and he said that I was just this happy energetic kid who always jokes around in the school bus. Somehow i just realised that as I climb up the educational ladder, why do i feel energy leaving me more and more, like im becoming more and more emo as i climb up. I guess its all bout thinking i guess, really dun wanna intensify the emoness. oh gosh. nvm. haha. i guess I will just have to try harder to be happy. Like even if im tired/siann, somehow, thinking of being happy will make ppl around you feel better i guess.
oh well. anyway, thursday is like cladys's birthday, cant wait actually, though im feeling dead tired. But thats like somehow something looking forward to. haha. and YAY. thursday we get to be released at 1.20=)))! cos, mr ho is not coming for econs):. happy that i can go off early. haha. guess i'll go down to sectionals myself earlier first. I kindda cant wait. so many things to work on. havent been that hardworking for quite some time already. haha.
and Friday after band, I dunno why im having the urge to head down to esplanade library to be emo. haha. like somehow, yeah. dont care. gonna head down there. to gok my claude bolling scores. and somehow, maybe head up to the roof top to play songs if not many ppl are there.. to be honest, yeah. i cant wait actually.
and classes with 22/08 is fun. have been really noisy in class. yikes. haha. tutorials lagging, but i do love all my teachers.(except...) yeah. haha. they are all great teachers man. somehow, i guess i just gotta learn how to look at the brighter side of school. and to be honest, i just wanna be happier in TJ. happiness is easy to spread and so is emoness and angerness[ NO SUCH WORDS, but dont laugh.], anyway, yeah. dont you just somehow find that everyone around being happy is so much better than everyone being angry/sian? like is so much fun when everyone is noisy/happy.. yeah. i guess. yeah. oh well. oh yeah. also realised some weird phenomenen. gonna say what my physics teacher told me last year. When you try to get close to a person, you can feel that the person wants you to go away. But once you start going away, the person will ask you to come back. right? mmm. yeah. i guess thats all i have to say.
theres band morrow! i cant wait though. haha. hans christian and Spirited away.
sighs. with heart and voice is freagin hard. nvmnvm. try try try.
anyway, life saving course is coming up in June again. and this time there is like BRONZE CROSS to go for! and of course AM(award of merit) + senior recussitation rank(CPR). omt. argh. haha. so cool so cool! if i ever pass all this. like WOA. haha. i will only left silver cross, distinction, patrol life guard and pool life guard to aim for. hahahaha. and anyway, i can go for the lifesaving instructors course, but sighs, quite busy arhh. cannot. =((. oh gosh. but nvmm. arghhh! haha. so freagin cool BRONZE CROSS IS LIKE OPEN WATER. hahaha. so somehow, will learn how to use canoe to rescue someone. hahaa. oh gosh. why am i talking about life saving. haha. oh well. but i cant wait mann. haha. but somehow, theres gonna be band during the holidays too! I really really hope they wont clash. cos, yeah, band and swimming are both equally important to me. haha. and theres still studies. =//. JCT is coming up after june. i really pray and hope, please, just for now all the way till the next long long break, give me enough zeal, enthusiasm and most importantly energy to do everything. i dont really wanna be sian/emo kid in school no more. i wanna be that, as michelle says, shaolin, or happy shaolin.(you can imagine those kindda monk-y, happy monks in the temple right) im not saying im a monk but.. yeah you get the idea. Happy, thats what i strive for. go jerms!
Go jerms! jia you in band and hmk! must catch up. feeling dead tired and trying to squeeze time for everything! but YOU CAN DO IT! GOGOOGOGOGOOGOG.
(somehow, also realised that after every post, i will somehow motivate myself. mmmm. oh well.)
jia you everyone yeah!
-jErM
15th April 2008
music: amoreuse- claude bolling suite.
suddenly had the random urge to blog.
mmm. was walking home today quite tired, and when im tired, rubbish thoughts filled up my mind. and kindda was like thinking that, you know somehow when you're angry with a person and you ever get the chance to shoot your anger at him/her, you will not only scold the person about the issue that you ain't really happy about, but you will drag all other matters in and blast all your anger at the person at full blast. right? Somehow if you're the scolder, you won't really feel it. you just will just somehow unknowingly drag all the matters in to intensify the anger. But if you're the victim, hoho, somehow you will just realise it. When you get scolded from your parents example, they will drag every single matter that you've done wrong. its like compiling and blast everything they can if they're angry at you, or when one of your siblings done any wrong, somehow, the blame will be pushed to you also.
and somehow when you're sad, you just hope that there will always be people by your side. there is not really a need to talk. but just there with you. its like how to say, and when you're sad, you will love to listen to emo songs. like for me, i like jay chou's pu gong ying der yue ding, or Simple plan's welcome to my life, or simple plan's shut up or something like that to intensify the fact that you're feeling emotional, or the best, go beach and enjoy the sea breeze and stone, or maybe head to the play ground to stone during night. Like let the calm mood of the night, the moon's dim beams shine on your face. and somehow, I've always wanted to try being at the beach during night, or going to the play ground to like sortta stone during night. (but the play ground one is a bit dangerous arhh.) that is when i'm emo. I've always wanted to do that.. and somehow, if im ever emo that day, somehow, stoning on the bus is a good thing also. cos, the beach is too far, and somehow, the playground down my block is kindda dangerous.
When you're happy, you will wanna scream out to the whole wide world how happy you are. and you again will hope that people will be there for you to congratulate you and reassure your confidence and pride. and to be honest, when you're happy and no one is there to hear you scream. somehow, it just feels really weird, like no one to share your joy with, like the feat that you've just achieved is somehow useless. but no matter what, you will also do something to intensify the feeling of being happy. like when you're happy, you will skip around, sing songs, eat!!, or how about playing the flute like in a duper bright way, or like swim like duper energetic!
my point is, no matter how you're feeling, why do we somehow always intensify the feeling? i dont get it. If the feeling of happy is to be intensified, i dont mind. being happy is good. it lets away stress. but for sad and angry, i just dont get it. like somehow, as i said, i dont really like my math/pw teacher. and to be honest, today's allowing-myself-to-let-rubbish-thoughts-flow made me realise that i've actually been doing stuff to reassure myself how much i hate him and everything. Like saying stuff like, I've tried, I've tried, I'v really tried. but sighs, really, no matter how i try to like him, it always flops. its so freagin irritating. sighs. okay. i went outta point. Somehow, I just have been feeling quite tired/sianned/emo lately, somehow i wana be happy. If not worrying over work/tutorials, It would be worrying over band matters, or worrying over how nai nai is and everything. Somehow, worrying doesnt help and its the action that really counts. but somehow, sighs. I dunno. I just really hope the feeling of emoness doesnt get the better of me. i really hate being sianned.
as stacey said, she asked wei cong(ex maha bodhian) how was I in maha bodhi, and he said that I was just this happy energetic kid who always jokes around in the school bus. Somehow i just realised that as I climb up the educational ladder, why do i feel energy leaving me more and more, like im becoming more and more emo as i climb up. I guess its all bout thinking i guess, really dun wanna intensify the emoness. oh gosh. nvm. haha. i guess I will just have to try harder to be happy. Like even if im tired/siann, somehow, thinking of being happy will make ppl around you feel better i guess.
oh well. anyway, thursday is like cladys's birthday, cant wait actually, though im feeling dead tired. But thats like somehow something looking forward to. haha. and YAY. thursday we get to be released at 1.20=)))! cos, mr ho is not coming for econs):. happy that i can go off early. haha. guess i'll go down to sectionals myself earlier first. I kindda cant wait. so many things to work on. havent been that hardworking for quite some time already. haha.
and Friday after band, I dunno why im having the urge to head down to esplanade library to be emo. haha. like somehow, yeah. dont care. gonna head down there. to gok my claude bolling scores. and somehow, maybe head up to the roof top to play songs if not many ppl are there.. to be honest, yeah. i cant wait actually.
and classes with 22/08 is fun. have been really noisy in class. yikes. haha. tutorials lagging, but i do love all my teachers.(except...) yeah. haha. they are all great teachers man. somehow, i guess i just gotta learn how to look at the brighter side of school. and to be honest, i just wanna be happier in TJ. happiness is easy to spread and so is emoness and angerness[ NO SUCH WORDS, but dont laugh.], anyway, yeah. dont you just somehow find that everyone around being happy is so much better than everyone being angry/sian? like is so much fun when everyone is noisy/happy.. yeah. i guess. yeah. oh well. oh yeah. also realised some weird phenomenen. gonna say what my physics teacher told me last year. When you try to get close to a person, you can feel that the person wants you to go away. But once you start going away, the person will ask you to come back. right? mmm. yeah. i guess thats all i have to say.
theres band morrow! i cant wait though. haha. hans christian and Spirited away.
sighs. with heart and voice is freagin hard. nvmnvm. try try try.
anyway, life saving course is coming up in June again. and this time there is like BRONZE CROSS to go for! and of course AM(award of merit) + senior recussitation rank(CPR). omt. argh. haha. so cool so cool! if i ever pass all this. like WOA. haha. i will only left silver cross, distinction, patrol life guard and pool life guard to aim for. hahahaha. and anyway, i can go for the lifesaving instructors course, but sighs, quite busy arhh. cannot. =((. oh gosh. but nvmm. arghhh! haha. so freagin cool BRONZE CROSS IS LIKE OPEN WATER. hahaha. so somehow, will learn how to use canoe to rescue someone. hahaa. oh gosh. why am i talking about life saving. haha. oh well. but i cant wait mann. haha. but somehow, theres gonna be band during the holidays too! I really really hope they wont clash. cos, yeah, band and swimming are both equally important to me. haha. and theres still studies. =//. JCT is coming up after june. i really pray and hope, please, just for now all the way till the next long long break, give me enough zeal, enthusiasm and most importantly energy to do everything. i dont really wanna be sian/emo kid in school no more. i wanna be that, as michelle says, shaolin, or happy shaolin.(you can imagine those kindda monk-y, happy monks in the temple right) im not saying im a monk but.. yeah you get the idea. Happy, thats what i strive for. go jerms!
Go jerms! jia you in band and hmk! must catch up. feeling dead tired and trying to squeeze time for everything! but YOU CAN DO IT! GOGOOGOGOGOOGOG.
(somehow, also realised that after every post, i will somehow motivate myself. mmmm. oh well.)
jia you everyone yeah!
-jErM
Saturday, April 12, 2008 / 8:23 PM
weather: cloudy
13th april 2008
music: eiger- a journey to the summit- mbs choice piece syf 08'
section pictures taken during monday
what can i say about all these pictures? 1 word. perfect. these pictures are like, the most nicest pictures I've seen in a really really long time. sighs. breathtaking i would say. haha. oh yeah. and these pictures were like taken, when i ponned 40 mins of PW/MATH lesson. which is great. cos apprarently, i don't really like my math/pw tutor. haha. oh well. let the pictures take you guys away baa. and the best picture of course, i saved it for the last, you guys look all the way downnnnn. the very very last picture. that is the best picture of all. everyone close, smiling, and what can i say? perfect.
.JPG)
_edited.JPG)
13th april 2008
music: eiger- a journey to the summit- mbs choice piece syf 08'
section pictures taken during monday
what can i say about all these pictures? 1 word. perfect. these pictures are like, the most nicest pictures I've seen in a really really long time. sighs. breathtaking i would say. haha. oh yeah. and these pictures were like taken, when i ponned 40 mins of PW/MATH lesson. which is great. cos apprarently, i don't really like my math/pw tutor. haha. oh well. let the pictures take you guys away baa. and the best picture of course, i saved it for the last, you guys look all the way downnnnn. the very very last picture. that is the best picture of all. everyone close, smiling, and what can i say? perfect.
.JPG)
_edited.JPG)
oh yeah cheryl, haha, i kindda didnt post up the picture with andy looking blur up yeah. haha, cos he wanted me to delete the picture. =). I will send it to your email if you really want it yeah, just drop me msn offline msg..
as li hong toshikasa said to me, a section should be xiang qin xiang ai, i guess if quarrels occur once in a while, it would be all right. but once everyone cools down, i guess that we'll just have to clear it up. as i really really hope, things will get back to normal asap. and i just have this feeling that, it will over pretty soon. =).
-jErM
Tuesday, April 1, 2008 / 7:28 AM
weather: cloudy, very cloudy
1st April 2008
music: with heart and voice, david gillingham
event: april fool's day.
I finished my osaka post. haha. go read it yeah!
oh well. this few days, life is getting very tough. sighs, its like, homework are piling up like some high tall skyscraper, tests are zooming to you at full speed, pdp life is getting tougher, and i seem to be getting into problems with the discipline committee lately. sighs. life is tough. haha. but its all right. i guess, as alot of ppl say, it will be over soon. i guess i'll have to bear with it. haha. theres a lecture test this thursday but am feeling damn tired to study. gosh. guess i'll do it later. haha. its like, waa. ytd sectionals, my sound was horrible. and to be honest, not gonna harp over it. theres a problem. GO SOLVE IT. and like, when you create a mess, go clear it up. it's that simple.. and i guess I'll solve my problems. I may harp on problems for a day, but i will solve it. haha. and, doing things to the best that you can, is what i should do i guess. gosh.
today, yesterday and the day before were HORRIBLE days. haha, was about to break down. yeah. and to be honest, today, i just felt like giving up.
then. your sms came. It's like, we didnt talk for months/years, and your sms came. just nice at this period when i was breaking down. i thought it would be some april fools message, but no, it's not, its a sms telling that its friendship day or something like that. gosh. thats like so sweet. My heart just felt totally warmed by your warmth. At sec 4, I tried telling myself that i should give up on you. our paths are so so different. our paths will never intercross. During teachers day, i went back, and i saw you. when you came, our juniors were there as well. we were like so near each other, and surprisingly, my heart was beating very very fast. adrenaline was gushing through my bloodstream, and i can like so totally feel it, and i wondered a lot, whether i should tell you. this crush from sec 2? i guess? at sec 3/4, i kept on telling myself to give up. but when everytime when i were about to give up, you appeared just again. mm. i somehow really wonder what this is. There was one period that we were really really close, and remembered saying that we'll be true friends forever. but if i were to tell you about this, will this friendship break? im so worried about this. and now, whether its friendship or more than a friendship. I cant tell anything anymore. should I tell you? should I not? I dont really wanna ruin this friendship that we both established. its so true, pure and innocent. and if i were ever to tell you that i like you, I dunno how you will react. if you would reject? i am worried that i will just plunge into depression. tests are coming up, and homework is piling. theres no time for love or anything now. what should I do. sighs. As i said, our paths are really different, but why cant i stop myself from like liking you? sighs. and i guess, if i were ever to convey my true feelings for you, I think you will tell me the same thing that our paths are too different. To you, i may be a true friend only?. was wondering whether i should go forward. have been keeping this for years already, and am damn surprised that i can hold back for so long. should i hold on? i guess i should. i guess, when it is the right time to tell you, I guess i would. and be it rejection or acceptance, of which i hope it would be acceptance, i will just have to accept the outcome. but i gotta prepare myself first. so shouldnt be getting into this kindda things right now.=//
wasnt supposed to go online/ blog or anything but to study today, gosh, but i gotta bla this chunk out mann. haha. oh well. yeah. i'd better go mug. haha. will blog if i have the time. sorry i left my blog to rot yeah. cant find the time lately to blog. =). oh gosh. spent alottt of time blogging already. JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!!!! i'd better work harder!!! AAAAA.
guess i'll catch you guys around! XD.
-jErM
1st April 2008
music: with heart and voice, david gillingham
event: april fool's day.
I finished my osaka post. haha. go read it yeah!
oh well. this few days, life is getting very tough. sighs, its like, homework are piling up like some high tall skyscraper, tests are zooming to you at full speed, pdp life is getting tougher, and i seem to be getting into problems with the discipline committee lately. sighs. life is tough. haha. but its all right. i guess, as alot of ppl say, it will be over soon. i guess i'll have to bear with it. haha. theres a lecture test this thursday but am feeling damn tired to study. gosh. guess i'll do it later. haha. its like, waa. ytd sectionals, my sound was horrible. and to be honest, not gonna harp over it. theres a problem. GO SOLVE IT. and like, when you create a mess, go clear it up. it's that simple.. and i guess I'll solve my problems. I may harp on problems for a day, but i will solve it. haha. and, doing things to the best that you can, is what i should do i guess. gosh.
today, yesterday and the day before were HORRIBLE days. haha, was about to break down. yeah. and to be honest, today, i just felt like giving up.
wasnt supposed to go online/ blog or anything but to study today, gosh, but i gotta bla this chunk out mann. haha. oh well. yeah. i'd better go mug. haha. will blog if i have the time. sorry i left my blog to rot yeah. cant find the time lately to blog. =). oh gosh. spent alottt of time blogging already. JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!!!! i'd better work harder!!! AAAAA.
guess i'll catch you guys around! XD.
-jErM
