Weather: cloudy
27th june 2010
music: -
mymy, many things have happened such that ah, haha, I feel so lazy to update already, but then, tomorrow, a new chapter of life begins, at AFTC, new challenges, new environment(which's good, away from OCS. omg, shiok.), and yes, just new everything, I heard that we'll get our own laptops there so maybe i shall blog from there. its alr 2318hrs and i should be in bed to get a good start to tomorrow morning, but yes. i just somehow feel so worried, I dont know why, just worried in a way. I'm now just thinking, like thinking hard on whether i will be able to pull through the whole 6.5 months anot. I'm already 1/4 way through my NS life(OMG, LIKE FINALLY.), haha, but it's still a heck lot of a way to go. Met up with the section 3 people this weekend, and yes, it feels soooo great to just hang out with 'em once again, and haising flutes, and omg, so many other people. haha. sighs. It just feels great when you're able to be yourself. My siao, noisy talkative self with 'em, it's like, being able to be yourself, being able to say out your thoughts, being able to feel comfortable around them man.
So, in air wing, im quiet, im quiet im quiet. Woa, how many times have i heard that line already man. But i mean that, 1) there's no topic that I can talk to you guys about, 2) all i can do is smile smile smile/laugh laugh laugh. Somehow, the only place that i managed to be myself, is on level 4 at OCS, with weiliang, with loga, with jun hong, with jun hua, with jasper, with ernest man. omg, it just feels so great to be able to be yourself. and of course, with the girls at the opposite block, haha, cadet toh, and kaili. omg, like being some siao gina. That's the real me man. So, right now, I really dont know how to be able to feel comfortable around man. New environment, with people that im okay too, but not say close. but I shall see how things turn out tomorrow. Uncertainty, something that no one likes.
Everyone's saying that AFTC will be great, 8-5, they wont bother you after 5 bla bla bla. But shall just wait and see. Anyhow, block leave's great, but it has passed really fast. Feels great to be able to play flute again, and being under the great conducting of mr quek. Omg, just great. Somehow, I really cant wait for NS to be over man. BAND BAND, FLUTE. OMG. yes. this life of music. sighs.):. but nvm, For now, i shall try my best. Anyhow also, hope that my injuries can heal faster man. please, omg i really hope that my stamina for running hasnt dropped too bad. mm. but for now yes, i shall sleep soon man.
sighs, praying that everything'll be okay. to another quarter of NS life. here goes..
-jErM
weather; stormy
6th June 2010
music: SNSD run devil run album
haha, i know i kindda havent updated this place in a horrendously long time such that no one will be reading this anymore, or perhaps if you'll pop by, haha, you might actually get to see this post. But, yes, things have been really busy of late here in OCS. Still, yes, the taiwan trip is still yet to be updated, every single thing that has happened on weekends since OCS have still yet to be updated. Havent met alot of people in a really really long time le; section 3, 22/08 and everybody else. It's like, everyone now is all busy up with their lives, including me. So yes. Still, we're all being chased through the motion of life right now. And i find that as we grow up, our worlds start to become more complex. Life is no longer about, just go school, finish up homework in 30 mins, and get it all correct and nicely done, and spend the rest of the day on tv, computer or perhaps just a lovely walk at the park. Life now as you grow up is about meeting people who are complicated, meeting even more adversities and difficulties, about seeing people fighting only for themselves, and yes, you'll just have to keep finding yourself swallowing up everything if you wanna even bother surviving in this world.
The life in OCS is really not easy. Till now, I really miss the simple life of BMT. The life where when i can book in, looking forth to spending weeks and weeks with dear section 3, weeks where i can just concentrate on nothing but physical stuff. The life in OCS is like, BMT level 100, it's like things have changed so much. It's no longer simple. Everyone here is damn freaking smart. They can think, think very complicated and well in fact. Everyone here is smart. and all that they care about is how to using their smarts to care for themselves. By luck, perhaps like really by my gods, Life in NS has indeed been smooth so far. Losing 22kg, surviving BMT, even thinking about passing IPPT, even getting into OCS, and getting into air wing, or for those who dont understand, to get to be an officer in the airforce just for 2 years when most will have to sign on. Everyone here is so complex, all they care about, is for themselves. About chao kenging about, woa, i dont know what to say. The sirs here say that if by Tuesday, the discipline of the wing doesnt buck up, we'll all get confined the following week. Regardless of what others are feeling, I already am feeling like, yes, we all are gonna get confined. Everyone's, well most people are just selfish i guess. It's okay. I'm already used to it. I really cant wait for the last 2 weeks of service term to fly pass. and yes, next week, things are gonna get really physical. I really hope that i can survive the whole mess man. Be it for parents and sgt yj to put on the rank for me in commissioning parade, or be it for personal achievement, I just really want to clear service term first at least. Silver for ippt. omg, please let it happen. and yes, pro term at AFTC.
Everyone's promising me that life will be better at AFTC. that, yes, the discipline will be more lax(which might not be such a good thing), and yes, everyone there will talk to you with more respect, with more understanding, and yes, the C3 people here are good. Btw, if you guys dont know, the job that i've been streamlined into doing, is C3-control, coordination and communications, ie. an officer that works at a control tower, to orchestrate air traffic. Yes, the C3 people here at least are okay. and yes, the impression of the Air force and the impression of officers have changed drastically since I've entered this screwed up place man. really. I dont know how to feel about things anymore, i dont know what the hell im doing. Just that, in lectures, I am really getting sick of slides that contain full of words, monotonous lecturers and they talk to you expecting you to understand everything already. Maybe cos I'm a simple person. i dont know. really, till now i really dont know. I dont know if i've made the right choice to enter OCS. but still, yes, i shall follow through the motion of life for now. See where it takes me. I'm pretty sure that i can tahan this, although i'll groan and everything along the way. But yes for now. I'm just hoping that all this can end fast man.
well, the weeks to come wont be easy. and yes, might have even less time to blog le. You guys take care okay. Talk to you guys soon.
-jErM
